You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
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The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.
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The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.
When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.
