You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.