You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.