You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'