You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I hate birthdays.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.