Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

I hate birthdays.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.