A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I hate birthdays.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.