A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I hate birthdays.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.