For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.