For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.