For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.

I hate birthdays.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'