For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.