You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

I hate birthdays.

I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.