You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.