I hate birthdays.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.