I hate birthdays.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.