A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.