We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.