When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

I hate birthdays.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.