When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

I hate birthdays.

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I'm not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.