Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.