How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.