How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

I hate birthdays.

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.