How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I hate birthdays.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?