The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

I'm not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does.