The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I hate birthdays.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.