Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.