I'm not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does.

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.