I'm not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I hate birthdays.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.