The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.