Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age.

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Old age has deformities enough of its own. It should never add to them the deformity of vice.

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.