I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I hate birthdays.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.