I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.