Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.