I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.