I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

I hate birthdays.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

I'm not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.