I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.