Your children need your presence more than your presents.

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.

I hate birthdays.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'