Your children need your presence more than your presents.

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I hate birthdays.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.