Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.